Meaningful???

Life in the State of Mania

I truly wanted to each day write something on this post that is meaningful, and filled with purpose. But that just isn’t always going to be the case, there are days that I just want to be pissy!!!

pissed off

 

These  days I wonder how far I should take my caring — caring for this, or that. With my predisposition for depression, I know that for a fact, that when I am  worrying about the external, it brings with it nothing but more problems. Is that not the meaning of Karma?, or it the Natural law of Causation?,  either way, when I allow it into my life, good or bad, it is me, who reaps the consequences. 

Om… Deep Breathe… Soham… Deep Breathe… Om… Deep Breathe…

And… I’m back… That was meditation for the keyboard, and truly — I do feel better!!!

But back to caring, it seems to me that it just isn’t worth it, and I should monitor only the real things in life that matter. The next couple of months are going to be very interesting, and I need to be focusing on those things that are, going to effect my way of life, everything else, I – need – to – just – Let Go. 

As for an ending to this Post, some poetic line of script — I don’t have one…

 

Life Changes

Life in the State of Mania

 Have you ever been in a situation that you knew wasn’t right, but you were so afraid of what would come, if you actually did something about it?, like my in last post “Cause and Effect“.  With that said a change is “Blowing in the wind”, and — I — can — sense — it. The time is nearing, but what I know too is that these changes are going to be hard, in many ways. I may not be able to go through with them, and that is scary. While looking back over my history I can find many times that I should have went in a different direction with my life (Hindsight is 20/20), but for one reason or another I didn’t, and those choices led me to here, and now. But those choices that I eluded from then continue to re-surface in some way, even if in small ways. The questions now, are very similar to questions of the past, and the answers that I am afraid to choose are the same ones that I escape Hard Choices 4from using before. Funny… how with age the choices I internalized didn’t change, but the consequences now seem even more direr than they did.

With less time now to recover from the inevitable effect of the cause, it almost seems as if at this point in life that I should just leave things as they are.

“I made the bed, now lie in it”. 

Fact or Fiction ???

Writing in the State of Mania

So the Bipolar Disorder is it a fact or fiction? The fact is that depression is real, and comes in many forms. from being blue, to being medicated for a time, to being medicated for a lifetime.

So doesn’t that describe being Bipolar?, I think for sure that the above description it is no less than a foundation for the Bipolar Disorder. So if you look at the link you will read a huge description of bipolar, but the symptomatology seems to mimic just about every mood know to man. So depending on the day, you can show symptoms of every mental disorder known to man, and with that I have just explained Multiple Personality Disorder.

bay

Now if you read this Classification of Disease link which is long and boring it will help to define Mental Disorders. This is the official book of diseases and there is a whole chapter on Mood Disorders. Now if you look at the baby to the right What kind of mood do you think she is in? Who Cares! She makes me smile, she is better than any pill. I got of topic for a moment there.

So back to the topic, it is in my opinion that depression is the foundation for many of these — Moods. The extension into the various disorders come from external factors in the life of those afflicted. Believe me those that say a parent, sibling, relation, friend or an acquaintance couldn’t affect the way they act as an adult are sadly mistaken.

My “Eyes Wide Open” moment came when I realised that one day my move into a mania mode was caused by a comment to me that my (and I use this loosely) father, had inflicted upon me for years. So was my mania embedded in a disorder? or created by a father (external factor) that was entirely out of control, with the fact that I had not overcome the emotional abuse.

So my definition of Bipolar disorder it is — Depression with the addition of an external factor. This external factor is something that causes great pain in the life of the person with the Depression Disorder.