Hurt…

Life in the State of Mania

man

Something happened to me, it was unintentional and innocent, but even-though it was; it was one of those things that stop a person cold – hurt deep – a pain that only words could cause. I – am – no – angel, and I have thrown many word daggers in my life, and have without doubt caused pain to others, but this time – it was me, the recipient of a well place dagger, and still at this moment the pain is unbelievably great. I have thought of even going to the Emergency Room to see if there was anyway to stop the flow of emotions from my body.

My world has been rocked by this, and change is inevitable, and where I go from here I cannot say, but change has to – “I mean, Has to” – come from this. With that change I am sure the pain will be great, because nothing in life that shapes our psyche ever come without pain. “I am 57 years old,” – I keep saying; “I am 57 years old,” and using it as a “No I don’t think I can” statement, but for me to move on and find those things that are missing in my, “My” day to day life, that Mantra has to stop.

I need to live again, something that for years I have barely been doing – I have been;  just – getting – by. This will not be easy and for those who know me all I can say is; “Hang on if you can, and if you can’t, I understand”….

Find life – Fall in love – or Die trying….

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