How many of you, in your dreams see that sandy beach, and the waves lapping onto your body – and the body of your significant other; as you make love…

NOT! In that case have you seen the picture of Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr from the movie From here to Eternity? Supposedly this is one of the top romantic movie scenes of all time. But is it reality? Could it happen to you? The odds are better that you could to win a small lottery, but by only a few percent I’m sure.

Movies put in to our heads the possibility of what sex could be in our daily life, and that; at some point, you and your partner could come together and become one flesh. Wow! – I’m all a quiver now, one flesh, one soul, a magical bond for that – perfect – moment. Then after every fight with your significant other, the perfect make up sex, and the next morning all is right with the world — again. The hope is; that in our real world we could have the happy endings that is scripted in to the movies that we go to every weekend. But it doesn’t happen that way, and that is why I don’t go to the movies every weekend unless some beautiful female vampire is killing people.

Now you’re saying; “This guy is just a disgruntled possessor of life”, maybe so; but for me there is nothing better than a movie that is a comedy, and the plot is a romantic love story, how ironic is that! I would take one of those movies over a shoot’em up movie any day. I crave, need, want romance, but cannot make it work in my life. So, am I disgruntled, or just dysfunctional?

Either way; the desire for romance in my personal life spills over my working life, affecting me in undesirable ways. It is as if I had “Sex” written, and pulsating in neon on my forehead for all to see! EGADS!!!  The fact is that I work in an environment that is mostly women, my aura enters a room before I do, and you can see it in the expression on the faces of the women, “Eww, it is him …” you literally see their skin crawl with the heebie-jeebies. I have to force myself to think of kittens, and puppies, and wipe the sexual tension off my sleeves, where I wear it.

It is hard working as a professional with this going on, I have been reported to HR (Human Resources) 2 times for sexual harassment, both times were dismissed because of the fact that the comment made was deemed as not sexual, but that of a person who has not entered the twentieth century. So what does that say about me? It states that; although not dangerous; I might be an old pervert.

(my head shake disgustedly)

“Damn this isn’t good!”

(muttering to myself out-loud)

(A momentary reflective pause; the screenplay continues…)

The movies, yes, it is the movies that are to blame for bringing me to this low point in my life, it’s probably a good thing that I didn’t like shoot’em up movies. So how do I get control over my reality of sex, hmm …? Or should I say “Sexual reality” that in real life is never as good as the movies, Bambi had it better.

If I could adopt the notion of reality vs. movie reality, then I could move on with my life; thus “Transmuting my sexual desires into personal aspirations”, Napoleon Hill would be proud! But I am still left with how to fix this? I thought that with age my primal urges would subside, a natural neutering, so to speak, but this hasn’t happened — yet.

So I guess, I will continue on, fighting with the earthly man, until my sexual drive diminishes; which I hope I have until I am dead!!!

(1 Corinthians 15:48)